I Love this City

Wow.

Really, there isn’t a more apt word to describe the Big Apple other than “Wow”.

I think this was a trip that was much needed by me. It’s really help put a lot of things into perspective. As for how much of it I should share with you my avid readers? Well, I’m not quite sure. It’s not that I don’t trust you being discreet. Quite the opposite. I trust all my readers. It’s just that I’m not sure you guys really want to spend the next 5 minutes reading about the sordid details of my trip. I mean do you really want to know about the green cheese cake, honey mustard pork and garlic chicken that my Didi fed me (delicious by the way!)?

Instead, how about I just impart upon you the little nuggets of wisdom that I picked up for myself in the City that never sleeps. Oh and believe me, it never sleeps. The burrito I ate at 4:30 AM will attest to that.

First off, I believe that the HCHHSSTT’s in NYC have raised the bar on the whole High Heels, Short Skirts and Tight Tops bit. They’ve also led me to re-evaluate my opinion on “tights / leggings”. I’ve never been a big fan of leggings. I think they are really stupid, especially when worn under a skirt. What’s the point? I’ll never understand this. It doesn’t accentuate anything and it doesn’t reveal more skin. So how in the world is it a good thing? If you’re going to wear a skirt, no tights should be allowed. If you’re feeling cold, then wear a pair of jeans or accessorize the skirt with boots. Having said that, some of the tight’s worn by the women of NYC – Wow. When you can see things that even a skirt won’t allow you too see, well bravo my friend, bravo.

So yes, I raise this imaginary glass of scotch in my hand to the women of NYC. Keep doing what you do, you all make the world a better place one less piece of clothing at a time.

Oh, I’ve also added a new rule to “Good Strip Club Etiquette”. If you intend to get a lap dance, but just aren’t sure which girl would best suit your lap dance “needs” and you don’t want to spend too much money trying different women, it’s completely fine with going through an interview process. This can entail having a stripper sit on your lap, put their arms around you, and basically leave you wanting more. After all, if the women are there to get as much money out of you as possible. It’s up to you to make sure you do your due diligence and get your money’s worth. Keep in mind, that if you do go through the interview process you would need to buy at least one lap dance by the end of the evening. Otherwise you’re really cheap and don’t deserve to be allowed into a strip club.

By the way, I think the most interesting exchange I have ever had the fortune to be a part of went something like this:

Zaev: (while making small talk with stripper) Wow, you’re flexible huh?

Stripper: You should see me in bed (with a deadpan look).

Zaev: (Blubbering all over himself)

Yes, that is now in my top 10 moments ever and #1 on the list of Strip Club Moments to be Savored.

For those of you that follow the comments section, you all are aware of how a certain reader always comments by leaving various quotes made by some of the greatest personalities we’ve encountered. Well, I’d like to take this moment to use a quote of his on my blog, trust me I consider it a great honor. It goes like this:

“Nothing better than seeing your buds enjoy a strip club” – Sanka 29th Oct 2009.

Those were his exact words and you know what? It sum’s up the whole “going to a strip club with your buddies thing” perfectly. Let’s face it, nobody enjoys paying for a lap dance. It’s demeaning paying for something you should be getting for free. However, when you buy one of your old college friends (who is now 28 and happily married) a lap dance from a very hot 22 year old Russian with perfect skin and breasts (it’s the lighting!) and you see the joy on his face. Well, that my friends is a moment you will savor for a long time to come and like Sanka say’s “Nothing better than seeing your buds enjoy a strip club”. Amen brother.

We’re all aware of the many breath taking sights in NYC like the Empire State building and Statue of Liberty to  name a few, but they pale in comparison to the sight I had of a police officer, the devil and a maid walk hand in hand down the long avenues of NYC. Needless to say they were all female and wore very very short skirts.

Unfortunately there is only so much you can do in four days. You really can’t be expected to see a whole lot and meet everybody, especially when you spend half your time recovering from Jet lag. I really didn’t have too much time to do much except for all the stuff that really needed to be done (Yes, Strip clubs are a must!).

Which brings me to the last and most important thing that I got out of this trip:

We all know this is a city of glamor, glitz, sin, a city that if you aren’t careful will look you up and down, chew you up and then spit you out. However, like the song goes “If I can make it there… I can make it anywhere”.

I’d have to agree with Ol’ Blue Eyes, if you keep persevering and put in the hard work and don’t give in to all the glitz, glamor, sleaze, dirt and hype, you’ll end up a happy person. Clichéd isn’t it? It may be, but this is what makes life so great. The clichés. All of them. No matter how big or small.

To Beige: the man who did it the hard way, who hasn’t given in to the hype, who goes home everyday to a family of his own that loves for him. You my friend deserve all your success. At the risk of losing all my “Streed Cred’, thank’s for the hope.

I Love this City.

Tagged as: NYC Trip