On My Terms

This is the first post where I’ve written the title before the content. This is really surprising for me. After all, I’m the kind of person that will write an entire page of gibberish and then label it “Gibberish”.

So obviously, I’m kind of at a loss here.

While I do have the title, I’m at a loss on what to write. In fact, I’ve had the title for the last 4 days and I still haven’t figured out what the content should be, how it should be structured and most importantly should it be funny or serious!

As I sit here sipping my beer in front of the AC at 3 am, I ponder some serious thoughts.

Thoughts that cover such ground as “How in the world could the movie ‘Catwoman’ ever have gotten made?”, “Will the Knick’s make the playoffs or will they finish an abysmal 20 – 62 with no chance of signing of Lebron next year?”, “Should I clean the filter on my AC as it’s barely cooling right now?”, “Would Suzzanne look better in a Cherry Red and Off White trim or an all matte black finish?” and finally “How in the world did Obama win the damn Nobel Peace Prize?” – I know technically, I asked this last week, but it’s still on my mind. I mean seriously? How in the world did that happen? And if it’s that easy, can I also win one? What do I have to do to win one? Contribute a kidney to some sick child in Africa? I mean come on, that’s got to be more than what he’s done so far in his presidency.

Something else that also has me perplexed is the way’s in which women get over the men.

To start with, I find out my sister has decided that she will always settle for friendship over love when it comes to a guy. That has to be the most  idiotic thing ever. Her exact words were “It doesn’t matter that I know I could marry him and be happy, because if it end’s badly, I’ll be miserable”.

Essentially, my sister has decided that being best friends with a guy is better than dating the guy (hypothetically speaking), even at the cost of happiness. She would rather be content with life, than really happy just because she may be miserable 7 years in the future if they break up.

I’ve heard about thinking ahead and planning for the future, but isn’t this a little ridiculous? In fact, isn’t this a very big reason people are so depressed today? We’re all so busy worrying about our future’s that we forget about right now. Yes, I know how cliched that line is and I’m not proud about it, but this is a serious problem. I know I’ll be revealing a side of me I generally like to keep repressed, but I’ll take that six years of happiness followed by misery. After all, how much of a lifetime do you actually spend being happy? I know I would grasp at every little bit I can get.

Sorry, I digress. The reason I’m perplexed is because I can’t fathom why women would rather settle for friendship than accept they are in love with an unattainable guy. Especially when staying friends and denying how they feel about a guy, has them LYING to themselves.

Look, I have no problem with staying friends, but just accept that you are crazy about a person and then work on getting over them. Don’t lie to your self and say “Hey, I don’t care anymore and besides the friendship is way better!”. More harm than good in my opinion.

The second method that I’ve seen used by women when dealing with “affairs of the heart” is even worse, they do what I call the “cut-off”. These women date a guy, break up with the guy, try and stay good friends with the guy, get pissed when they see the guy with another girl and then promptly decide to cut off all relationships with not just the guy, but also all his and her friends. This is retarded because if you want to “cut-off”, just “cut-off” the guy! Not the friend that lent you a set of PS3 games that took you over 8 weeks to get return.

By the way I’m a firm believer in the “cut-off”, in fact one of the only ways I know how to get over women is to “cut-off”. Rest assured, it’s cost me a lot of potential female friends and avid readers, but at least I’m not in a state of denial over how I feel about them.

Sure, I should probably mature emotionally but let’s face it, the “cut-off” is a lot easier and faster. It could take me years to mature, much easier to “cut-off”.

This is where I believe men have it down perfectly. If we break up with a girl, we do one of three things:

1) We do the “cut-off” and move on.

2) We stay friends with their friends after all this gives us an avenue to get back to the girl that dumped us or rejected us.

3) Alternatively, some men like to do the whole “stay friends” with the girl they liked and then hook up with a girl hotter than her and flaunt the new girl friend as often as possible.

Any which way, win-win-win situation.

By the way curious fact, on Nov 7th it will be exactly 3 years since I left NYC for Bombay. I have to admit, and I’m pretty sure I’ve admitted this before, but I’m going to admit it again, at about the year and a half point, I really thought coming back to Bombay was a very bad idea. At the three year mark, I would have to reassess.

It definitely wasn’t the smartest move I’ve ever made, but when I think about what I’ve gained in the last three years, it definitely wasn’t as bad as I thought.

For starter’s I have a new found fascination for blonde women. The complete lack of them in India is stunning. You would think that somewhere along the line, an Indian girl would’ve thought to herself “Hey, I could probably carry off the blonde look and to top it off all the other women out here are brunette’s! Advantage: ME!”. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. Instead Indian women have five types of hair color: Brown, Pseudo – Red, Black, Blacker and Blackest. So yes, the new found fascination is well appreciated. I was getting spoilt by all the blondes in Las Vegas and NYC.

The second thing is that while on occasion I’ve been ashamed by the stunning level of selfishness I showed by coming back to Bombay, I am happy that for what was the first time in a long time, I didn’t and still don’t have to worry about supporting anyone other than myself. However, maybe it’s time to stop being so selfish?

The next thing is a big one, I think somewhere along the line, I discovered how to have fun again and started living my life. Let’s be honest, the NYC – Zaev would never have taken time off to go on a bike ride to Goa, would never have spent many a Friday night drinking with friends that travel over 100 kilometers in the hope of getting some action (you know who you are!), listening to good music and conversing about women. Sure, it doesn’t sound like much, but it’s a pretty big deal.

Of course we can’t forget the fact that in the last three year’s I’ve added three important people to my family: Dad (Sure, he’s been a slacker and is a slacker… but he’s been trying and that counts), PM (This would be dad’s girlfriend. She’s way too good and good looking for him. I hope she realizes that) and finally last but definitely not least is that god awful brat of a sister in Delhi. Everybody needs a brat in their life.

And really, if you think about it, if I hadn’t left NYC I don’t think I’d ever have started writing, which means all of you my ardent readers out there would be left with nothing to do think about when on the pot. So yeah, all in all not bad eh?

The whole point of coming back to Bombay was to “find oneself”. While I don’t quite have it all figured out, I think I started making some headway.

Oh! I almost forgot to mention, I’ll be out of town for a week or so. I’m going to be in NYC.  It took me three years to get my passport renewed, 1 month to get a visa issued and three days to get a ticket to go back to NYC.

When I finally do fly out on Monday, I’ll be going back on my terms… just as I promised I would.

So how about them Knick’s?

Tagged as: HCHHSSTT, NYC, Women