Up in the Air

Yes, I stole the title of my post from the movie. Yes, I just watched the movie 10 minutes ago. Yes, I have been known to rip off movie titles, lines, etc and have no shame in reciting them out loud and claiming them as my own. Yes, it was a good movie and Yes, it got me thinking.

The movie covers a lot of ground and No, this is not a movie review. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the movie but I’d rather let you go watch it yourself and come to your own conclusions about it. Either way I digress. So, the movie covers a lot of ground.

It ranges from Family to Travel, Love to Adultery, Youth to getting Old. Now all of the before mentioned things grabbed my attention, and there were other things that stood out like old Georgy growing a conscience, or for that matter growing up. The card he gets for flying ten million miles also got me very excited.

But (and I know you should never start a sentence with the word) No, what stood out the most was and how do I say this without sounding too crass: The naked rear view of a women with only a tie around her waist.

Yep, that did it for me. That scene made me a fan of this movie like nothing else could. People and by people I mean women tend to underestimate the value of the right piece of clothing when in bed. I mean this girl didn’t even have any underwear on, nothing sexy, just a good Ol’ tie and while I sit here sneezing because of my cold and slight fever, I think only of “The Tie”.

So in keeping with the movie, I’ve come up with what I believe to be are the top 10 sexiest looks for what women should wear to get their men “Up in the Air”:

10) Sexy Nurse, School Girl, Maid and Police officer costumes: Yes these are the standard outfits, worn on every Halloween for a reason. No surprise there, somethings just never get out of style.

9) Biker Chick / Madonna from the 80′s: These are pretty close to each other, and while I’m not a big fan of Madonna. I am a big fan of  Hot Chicks in High Heels, Short Skirts and Tight Tops. I’m also fine with replacing the Short Skirts for a pair of tight leather biker pants.

8) A Bikini: You should never forget the power of a Bikini. I mean have you seen Kim Kardashian, Pam Anderson and the rest in Bikinis? Amazing, sure it helps if you’re a woman with big boobs but really, its not a necessity.

7) Lingerie: Yeah this really goes a long way. The right lingerie can do wonderful things. Right about now I know this sounds like a column from Cosmo, but I really can’t help myself. I feel these are the things I need to write about. Boy Shorts, Camisoles, Corsets the works. Yes, I’m well versed in Lingerie. I look at it as a good thing. Unlike most men out there, I know what looks good on women. Boo Yah! (I’m trying really hard to come off sounding cool right now and I know I’m failing… so go with me!)

6) Hot pants and a loose top tied up in a knot: I’m talking about your basic Daisy Duke look. Simple, elegant (OK maybe more Trashy than elegant) and stunning. If worn the right way, I’d like to think this would bring the room to a standing ovation.

5) A Naked woman: Yep, that works too. No confusion, no tricky buttons, zips or clips. I was going to put this at 9th but decided it definitely deserved to be in the top 5 just because of the “ease of access” thing it has going in it’s favor. Let me just say I hate buttons.

4) Princess Leia look: Yep, every red blooded male knows about this one. I don’t think anything feels better than imagining yourself as Jabba the Hutt (one in better shape perhaps?) while a really hot woman is parading around in front of you in the metal bikini and her hair in two buns. Now for all you people that think this is disgusting and sexist, please remember that Jabba died. So it’s fine that this is what your man may crave, cause lets face it he too will die one day. In the mean time get in costume and humor him.

3) Sexy Air Hostess: This gets special mention since the movie that inspired this post is all about Air Travel. I’ll be honest, the only thing I look forward to when getting on a plane is the fact that some how I may land up with an above averagely attractive air hostess (flight attendant if you like) serving me drinks and food. Let’s face it, this is the closest I’ve gotten to the Jabba fantasy. By the way I’d much rather prefer the Air Hostess costumes of the sixties, you know short skirts and all.

I know a few of you people will be reading this in disgust and yelling profanities at me. My mother will question herself on how she raised me and my brother will be going “You Go Boi!”. The fact is, I’m fine with it. It could be a lot worse, trust me. I don’t want to get into it, but it could be.

2) The Tie: Sigh, I still can’t get over that scene. I’ve been playing it over and over. OK I haven’t, maybe I have… it’s not the point. The point is, it’s a great shot and its got class (It’s a classy nude scene… nuff said!). I would never have thought of this myself. I’ve seen women wear ties around their necks and go Naked. Hell Jennifer Anniston did it for some magazine cover and it looked good. But my god man! Around the waist, like a sash? I truly cannot think of a better use for a tie. I just can’t. Flabbergasted, thats what I am right now.

which leads me to the #1 look on my list. While I understand this list is subjective and I’d love to get thoughts from different people, I’d like to go with this as my #1. So without further ado, the winner is:

1) Over sized shirt: That’s right a girl in nothing but a man’s (preferably the one their with) shirt. While color doesn’t matter, I’d like to think we all give a little preference to white. It’s really just one of those things that make you go “Hmmmmm”. I don’t know how to give this look justice. It has to be seen to be appreciated. I really cannot say anymore. It’s one of those things.

I’m sure one day, hopefully while I can still get it Up in the Air, I’ll be fortunate enough to witness this. However, I’d like to take this moment and raise my glass to all those Manly Men that have had the opportunity to enjoy this moment. Good Job Fellas.

A couple of quick Honorable Mentions before we wrap up: Woman wearing nothing but a tool belt and hard hat, Woman in a Poison Ivy costume, Woman dressed in the costume of a Pirate, alternatively Woman dressed as a busty wench. The list really goes on, but you get the idea. Oh and women in nothing but boots. I almost forgot that one. The blasphemy!

So there we have it folks, my top 10 list of what I’d like to see my women wearing in bed. Will they all happen? Possibly… not very likely. However, I take inspiration from my sister at this point in time, she recently made a list of things she’d like to get done by a certain age. Well, I’d like to be able to witness at least 5 out of 10 of these looks by the age of 30, OK maybe 35. Let’s make it 35.

So wish me luck! Time really does fly when you’re Up in the Air.

Tagged as: HCHHSSTT, Lingerie